Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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