I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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