i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
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i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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