Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How does it feel to date your dad?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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