Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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