wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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