3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
one might say we're banned from that church
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize