i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize