Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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