I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize