i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
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Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
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I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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