And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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