The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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