I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
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