If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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