ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
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