What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize