you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
third nipple confirmed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize