Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
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I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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