So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
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Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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