We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
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I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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