is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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