literally had 100 drinks last night.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize