I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize