I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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