i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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