You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize