dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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