i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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