She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize