Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize