Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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