Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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