literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He has the fingertips of a God
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize