How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
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I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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