Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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