I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize