I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize