Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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