I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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