I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize