Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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