Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
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her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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