ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he thought i was a dude.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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