i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize