walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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