Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
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The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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