You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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