I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
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HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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