you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize