omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize